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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Countdown to Vows: How Am I Feeling?

As Vows speedily approach, I thought I would spend some time explaining the internal dynamics of this time.  This is a sacred time in life, one of expectation and wonder.  I am reminded of Rudolf Otto's description of the sacred as the "Mysterium tremendum et fascinans."  I think that Latin phrase says it quite well.  The vows are mysterious.  The vows are tremendous, causing some trepidation.  The vows are also captivating, being a focal point of desire.   This is not unlike the preparation I would think a couple undergoes before the Sacrament of Marriage.  Thus, it is a time of profound joy. 

Last summer in Peru, I remember walking up a hillside with one of my second year brothers to an archaeological site of human sacrifice to the sun-god.  It was precisely 50 days until he took his vows, and so I quipped, "Only 50 more days, and YOU will be made a holy oblation before the Lord."  He did not find that overly funny.  Yet then and there I made a mental note that although vows would indeed entail much sacrifice, if I did not feel deep JOY at that point the following year, I probably should not proceed toward taking them.

Thankfully, there has been a consisent peace, joy, and feedom in stepping toward this sacrifice.  I am quite aware that I am going to be receiving A LOT, and not just giving.  Even though poverty, chastity, and obedience may sound like a real pain (and they are modeled on Christ's life of sacrifice), I can have confidence in His words that what is given up for His sake is given back one hundredfold. 

One of the greatest parts of preparing for vows is that I am not doing it alone.  I have 8 amazing brothers who are right here with me, every step of the way.  I also have a worldwide brotherhood of 15,000 who I will be joining.  Most of all, this is an opportunity to grow in further union and fidelity with the God of love. 

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